Recently I was surprised and somewhat touched to learn that Apple vigilantly protects even the most reviled individuals and groups from virtual attack. Although the Apple App store is loaded with seemingly every type of violent and potential offensive game one could dream up, it turns out that they have standards. And perhaps a soft spot in their hearts for that most hated and feared of minorities, lawyers. Somehow Apple got it into its trillion-dollar head that a cute little mobile app game called “Murdering Lawyers™” could conceivably be the last straw to break the camel’s back and open the floodgates onto a slippery slope of Shakespeare-justified civil unrest.
Unsafe At Any Height
This post combines topics from 2 of my previous posts, BBQ and air travel. I was inspired to share on this blog my own harrowing story after reading another man’s tale of long distance love and loss (click here to read). The gentleman in this story made small national news and big local news (in Kansas City) when he made the costly tactical error of allowing a break in the chain of custody between him and his BBQ from Oklahoma Joe’s (now known as Joe’s Kansas City, but that’s another story). Evidently the brisket, smoked sausage and sauce which he packed in his checked luggage disappeared during TSA screening. To give the TSA the benefit of the doubt, the food was evidently well-wrapped in a few layers of packaging and when anything in checked luggage is well-wrapped the official policy is evidently that “TSA officers may have to unwrap a gift to take a closer look inside.”
The Right to Defend Knees (which Amendment is that?)
By now you’ve probably all heard the tale of the brave man who valiantly defended all of America’s knees while defending his own. On a flight from Newark to Denver, one lone hero said “F you” (I think literally) to the PC army that wants everyone to “act civilized” and to “coexist” with some minimal level of “common courtesy”. The pilot, the airline and the FAA somehow misunderstood his message and diverted the plane to Chicago.
Days of Future Past- Empty Nest Edition
My wonderful wife, Laura, seems to be holding up better than expected as stand just hours away from Empty Nest-hood. Last weekend we dropped off our younger daughter to be a College Freshman in her crowded new (really super-old) dorm and tomorrow we will deliver our older daughter to her school for her junior year. One thing I’ve been thinking a lot lately is “Thank goodness the kids went to camp for 6 weeks every summer for many years. It was good practice being away for them, and even better practice for me and Laura.” (I never went to sleep-away camp as a kid, and so I thought that when you have kids they live in your house every day for 18+ years until college.)
Satan (and Hobby Lobby) Told Me To Get This Abortion!
I don’t know if it’s the law of unintended (but totally predictable) consequences, or just a theoretical vindication of what some conservative Christians have believed all along, but a group called the Satanic Temple (not to be confused with the Church of Satan or the Church of Azazel [the guy from the Exorcist]) is claiming that the US Supreme Court’s decision in the Hobby Lobby case exempts its followers from informed consent abortion laws. Currently 35 states have some form of law which requires women seeking an abortion to listen to some sort of combination of “Are you sure?” “Do you know this made-up scientific fact?” and “Are you sufficiently ashamed?” The Temple has prepared a letter that women can try to use, whether they are members of the Temple or not, in order to avoid being subjected to the informed consent spiel. The Satanic Temple’s press release can be found here.
Amazon Thinks I Might Want to Read Murdering Lawyers by Larry Fine…
Was it an oversight? Or a cruel joke?
This morning I received an email from Amazon which recommended various “mystery, thriller and suspense” books to me. I was understandably excited to see that the first book on the list was a quaint little book called Murdering Lawyers by a fresh-faced young writer named Larry Fine. How many millions of other thriller lovers had received this email?? New York Times Bestsellers list, here I come!
After the initial irrational euphoria, I grew skeptical and did a little internet research. Turned out that I was far from the first author to be propositioned about my own book. Why did they do it? Talk about preaching to the choir!
Almost Too Old to Rock and Roll…
As Rock and Roll approaches 60 (“Rock Around the Clock” was released in 1956) and its legendary performers approach 80 (Paul McCartney is 72 and Mick Jagger is about to be 71 on July 26; teen idol Rick Springfield is going to be 65 on August 23!), many a live-fast-die-young star has outlived his own self-proclaimed paradigm. Pete Townshend, who told Roger Daltrey (now aged 70) to say “Hope I die before I get old” in the 1965 classic “My Generation” has been forced to live to 69 (so far). When Jethro Tull’s Ian Anderson turns 67 on August 10 he will seemingly have a legitimate claim to being “Too Old To Rock and Roll but Too Young To Die”, although that won’t stop the once long-haired rock flautist from touring in September and October of this year. Somber chanteuse Lana Del Rey, old at 28 (a year older than her idols Kurt Cobain or Amy Winehouse saw), recently told an interviewer at The Guardian that she thought dying young was “glamorous” and she wished that she was dead already. Odds are that Lana will look back at that interview in 50 years and shake her head at the follies of youth, although I doubt she’ll be spending any time in rock arenas in those future days (if such venues even still exist in non-virtual space…)
Being Larry Fine
I might as well address the 500-pound exploding gorilla in the room (see Dizzy Detectives, made in 1943); I am not the first guy to be named Larry Fine. I’ll be thrilled if someday I’m as famous and beloved as South Philadelphia’s own Larry Fine (born Louis Feinberg). In order to avoid confusion I considered changing my name to Louis Feinberg…
As Patriotic As Slow-Cooked Pork Ribs…
For me, America’s birthday is mostly about the grilled and smoked meat. I love liberty and all, but mainly I love the liberty to grill and smoke lots of meat on my deck.
This year I enjoyed several cuts of many different animals at a neighbor’s house on the 4th, then took my turn as fire-master on the 5th. Having just bought a five-shelf rib rack (through Amazon), I set out to fit the maximum amount of food possible onto my XL Big Green Egg(R). A few weeks ago, I had watched this epic (19-minutes+) video about how to make perfect pork ribs on the Egg, starting with applying yellow mustard as an adhesive for the spice rub, after which I smoked one test rack for six hours. It came out unbelievably well.
Better than Real Life: 3D Blu-Rays Are Well Worth It!
I’m not usually an early adopter, but in the case of 3D blu-rays I am currently among the only adopters (sales of 3D blu-rays have been hampered by slow sales of 3D TVs). I love them. And the 3D looks so great. One of my eyes is much better than the other, so I barely see 3D in real life, but a good blu-ray can blow me away.